Ariana Madix Shares Where She Stands With Lisa & Kristen, What Didn’t Air on Pump Rules & Addresses Being a “Bad Reality Star,” Plus Talks Feeling “Terrified” While Filming

Ariana Madix shared where she stands with Lisa Vanderpump and Kristen Doute — her former castmates on Vanderpump Rules. The star also addressed being a “bad reality star,” and she hinted at feeling “terrified” while filming.

Though Ariana was a fan favorite, she rarely instigated drama for the sake of drama. In season 10, after discovering her then-boyfriend Tom Sandoval’s affair with Rachel Leviss, Ariana developed a friendship with his ex Kristen, her former nemesis.

In recent weeks, a reporter claimed that Ariana and Lisa barely spoke to each other at a past White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and fans have speculated that they’re no longer on good terms.

On the Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast, Ariana addressed her claim that she’s a “bad reality star.”

“So when people think reality star … you might think, someone who instigates,” she said, via @vanderpodrecaps on Instagram. “[Someone] who’s able to live comfortably in that space of ‘come at me’ and has fun doing that. And I feel like a lot of parts of me, I have a hard time being very vulnerable unless I feel really safe … I would do my best and like put myself out there … [but] I would have to drink to kind of like get more comfortable. And I don’t feel like that’s a very good space to be in long term.”

Ariana was asked if she consciously thought about how filming was different with “a couple of glasses of wine.”

“Yeah, I’d be like, thank god it’s a night out. Not just going having tea,” she said. “[During] the big nights out … I was way more fun.”

Later on, Ariana added, “I do think I’m pretty annoying a lot of the time. I’ve had like some pretty annoying moments for sure [on the show] … I think maybe I would be better at it now, but I think I have too much anxiety for reality TV … Sometimes it would be to the point where it was like debilitating … [In certain scenes, I was] completely disassociated and terrified.”

She then addressed the perception that she wasn’t as involved in drama during various seasons.

“It’s annoying a little bit because [when] I thought was really talking about stuff or giving of myself … [sometimes] it wouldn’t air and they just like didn’t want to follow it,” she said. “Kristen and I’s friendship developed [in season 11], and [we] thought [it] was something that they would [show]. And then it never aired.”

When asked if she and Kristen are still friends, Ariana answered, “Yeah, I was just at her baby shower.”

The host also asked where Ariana stands with Lisa, and if she feels that Lisa has a “thing” in which she “loves the boys” on the show.

“I think it’s a little bit of loving the boys,” said Ariana. “But also, I think it’s a business thing sometimes, too, with her. [It’s] not always business decisions that I would agree with … or [support] people that I necessarily would, not in that way. But, yeah … We don’t chat.”

When asked if she thinks Lisa was happy to see her succeed, Ariana stated, “I guess, I just, I haven’t really seen her since then … I would hope so.”