Catelynn Lowell has been outspoken online over the past few months regarding her relationship (or lack thereof) with her birth daughter Carly’s adoptive parents, Brandon and Teresa Davis and, on Tuesday, the Teen Mom star hit back at people who have criticized her for speaking out.
Catelynn— who shares three other daughters with her husband Tyler Baltierra— also stated that she plans to tell Carly about the ways Brandon and Teresa have tried to shut her and Tyler out of Carly’s life over the years.
As ‘Teen Mom’ fans know, Cate and Tyler placed Carly for adoption immediately after her 2009 birth. While the pair have maintained a relationship with Carly, Brandon and Teresa over the years, there have been many ups and downs along the way–- some of which are due to Cate and Tyler’s decision to publicly discuss their adoption experience to the dismay of Brandon and Teresa, who have asked the MTV couple not to post about them or Carly (or share photos of Carly’s face) on social media. On Tuesday, Catelynn reposted a video made by TikToker @first.birth.mom in which the woman running the account discusses placing her newborn daughter for adoption. In the video, the woman talks about being criticized for saying anything negative online about her daughter’s adoptive parents. The woman also addresses nay-sayers’ claims that her speaking negatively online about the birth parents will affect her birth daughter.
“For over a decade I was dancing on those eggshells for her adoptive parents,” the woman in the video says. “Because, once again, society caters to adoptive parents. I was conditioned to think that I, too, must cater to the adoptive parents’ feelings so I stayed silent…it purely served the purpose of enabling poor behavior from her adoptive parents…”
The woman also talked about how surprised her birth daughter was when she told her about some of the “horrible things” the adoptive parents have said to the birth mom.
In the caption of her post, Catelynn wrote that she completely relates to what the woman in the video is saying, and that she plans to make Carly aware of everything that’s happened between her and Brandon and Teresa, once Carly is 18 and can decide for herself if she wants Cate and Tyler in her life.
“One day Carly will be around to see our side and have all the facts from our side and make her choice,” Catelynn wrote. “Ask questions, etc. Whatever choice that is I will always support. But she also will see the texts [between us and her parents] and everything from over the years.
“I will NEVER bash her parents,” Catelynn continued. “I will ONLY share the ways I have always tried etc. and how many times I have been shut down etc… it’s NOT bashing or ‘talking trash.’ It’s literally just about speaking the truth about adoption, the relationships and how it affects people involved. That’s it. It not only affects me, my husband, and the children we are raising, but it also affects Carly!”
In the comment section a person claiming to be an adoptive mom stated that just posting about Brandon and Teresa is bashing. Catelynn disagreed and defended her right to speak out against Carly’s parents.
“Why is it that when I share my feelings about ANY other relationship in my life (mom, brother, etc.) it’s just me ‘sharing my journey?’ BUT the moment I shed light on my adoption and the [adoptive parents] it’s bashing?!” Catelynn wrote in response. “Never ONCE have I called them out of their names or said anything horrible about them. Literally just sharing MY side of MY journey with this adoption. It’s literally mind-blowing to me.”
When another person commented that it’s Carly’s parents’ choice how much access Catelynn and Tyler get to Carly, Catelynn responded.
“Well that choice affects Carly deeply!” she wrote. “Look up the statistics it’s sooo important for adoptees to be involved with their bio families etc.! Educate yourself on that and then we can talk.”
When another person advised Catelynn against talking negatively about Brandon and Teresa on social media, due to Catelynn having such a large following from ‘Teen Mom,’ Catelynn responded that she refuses to stay silent about the adoption.
“Absolutely not! I will [say] things publicly! Why? Because I have a following! I can educate people about adoption! All sides of adoption!” Catelynn wrote. “Also Carly will be able to see everything one day too so it’s important to put things out! That’s why there are so many false things put out about adoption because ppl are to[o] afraid to speak out.”
As The Ashley previously reported, Cate and Ty shared with their fans in May that they wouldn’t not be getting their annual visit with Carly this year. Afterward, Catelynn expressed her frustration and confusion over Carly’s parents not making time for her and Tyler to see Carly. Shortly after, Tyler defended Catelynn, and addressed the opinion some fans have that Carly will come “running back” to him and Catelynn once she is an adult and can make the choice on her own.
“I’ve noticed that this is the most common opinion I happen to see from people,” Tyler wrote in the comment section of a post on the official ‘Teen Mom’ Instagram account showing a scene about Carly. “Of course I’d LOVE for her to be in our lives more & her sisters’ lives.
Tyler stated that he understands that there is a possibility that Carly may choose to exclude him and Catelynn and their daughters from her life once she is an adult.
“The truth is, she might turn 18 & want nothing to do with us. It just might be too difficult for her or she simply might just want to move on with her life & not have us be involved…& ya know what? That’s OKAY! That is her right! That is her choice!” he wrote. “Or she might want to just talk us one final time & tell us how much our decision to place her has negatively affected her or traumatized her life…& that’s OKAY! I would humbly fold my hands behind my back, lower my head & allow her to yell, cry, or scream at me if that’s what she needs. All I would say is ‘I’m sorry. You’re right. I love you.’
“I am going to respect & lovingly honor whatever decision she happens to make,” he continued. “Because my love for her has no conditions. It has no requirements or expectations. It is biologically bias towards her spirit & it is a paternal love that’s everlasting & invincible. I would honestly tell her how proud I am of her to show such courage & strength to fight for what she believes in. All I hope & wish for her is to ALWAYS REMAIN TRUE to her intuition. To live EVERY MOMENT with unapologetic authenticity. To ALLOW enough GRACE upon herself to heal whenever it’s needed. To NEVER self betray for the sake of others comfort & to use FEAR as an OPPORTUNITY to PROVE to herself exactly what she is CAPABLE of every time it arises!
“So I’m okay with whatever decision she makes, because I’m not a requirement for any of those wishes to come true for her. I just want her to know how much she is loved!”
Brandon and Teresa have never responded publicly to any of Catelynn and Tyler’s posts about them or the adoption.
