Catelynn Lowell once again hit TikTok Live this week to talk answer Teen Mom fans’ questions about the adoption of her biological daughter Carly.
The ‘Teen Mom’ star— who, along with her husband Tyler Baltierra has been very (very) outspoken about the injustices of adoption in general, as well as their unhappiness with Carly’s parents, Brandon and Teresa Davis, for closing the adoption and cutting off contact between them and Carly last year. During her TikTok Live session on Wednesday, Cate stated that she and Tyler are now speaking out about the situation because they no longer have to fear Carly’s parents closing the adoption.
“We already lost the most-important thing to us, so now we’re going to put everything out there because it’s really important that everybody knows the full scope of the situation,” she said.
Here, The Ashley breaks down some of the most-interesting parts of Catelynn’s TikTok Live about adoption, which at one point in the Live she compared to “literally buying babies” due to how much it currently costs in America to adopt.
On whether or not she thinks her and Tyler’s new podcast will hurt Carly and further damage the relationship:
“I’m not worried that podcast will hurt Carly because we talk about all sorts of things and different aspects of our life,” Catelynn said of Cate & Ty Break It Down! which debuted earlier this month. “Our podcast is not just adoption-centered. We talk about all types of things, so I don’t think it would negatively impact her at all.”
On whether she would consider taking Brandon and Teresa to court to get communication with Carly reestablished:
Catelynn stated that, in some states, birth parents can take adoptive parents to court if the adoptive parents aren’t fulfilling their agreement; however, Michigan is not one of those states. She also said that she wouldn’t do that to Carly’s parents, even if she legally could.
“I wouldn’t take her parents to court,” she said. “I feel like that could do way more harm and cause a lot more trauma, and make [Carly] feel like she has to choose between us and them and I would never want to put her in that situation.”
(Back in November, Tyler also addressed this topic. He stated during a Live that he “wouldn’t do anything legally” because “that really wouldn’t help anything. I definitely wouldn’t, even if the opportunity was there.” He went on to add that he would never try to “challenge” Carly’s adoption legally, for any reason.)
During her Live, Catelynn acknowledged that it was never legally binding that Brandon and Teresa allow them to maintain contact with Carly; however, she did agree with a person that stated that “they had an agreement that Brandon and Teresa never kept.”
“So open adoption is basically hoping that they keep their words,” Catelynn said later. “Yes, yes it is. And that’s why I think about how there’s certain things that I wish I could go back and change but I can’t, you know?”
On whether she holds a grudge against Tyler or her mother-in-law Kim for “pressuring” her to place Carly for adoption:
Catelynn addressed fans who have commented that Tyler (and his mom) pressured her to choose adoption, with some claiming that Tyler told Catelynn that he would leave her if she chose to keep Carly. During her Live, Catelynn vehemently denied this.
“Tyler never forced me to give my kid away. That’s disgusting,” she added. “Like, that you guys would think that, it’s just wrong.
“If you feel like anybody forced me to place my child, you’re dead wrong,” she said. “If you think I’m that weak of a person and a woman to choose a man over my child, that’s disgusting. It was my decision. I could have changed my decision at any time that I wanted to.”
Cate went on to state that, at one point in her pregnancy (that wasn’t filmed), she did change her mind about the adoption and wanted to parent Carly.
“And then something happened in my life, my home life, and I was like, ‘Oh gosh, nevermind. I have to do this for her. I can’t bring her home to this,'” Catelynn said.
As for Tyler’s mother, Kim, Catelynn said she harbors no hard feelings toward her. (As 16 and Pregnant fans will remember, Kim made it clear during Cate’s pregnancy that she did not want Tyler and Catelynn to parent Carly.)
“My mother-in-law helped us, actually, look into the adoption, because we didn’t know where to go. We were children,” she said, adding that Tyler’s mom was a big source of support for her when she was a teenager. “She was the person that I could call at any time if something was happening at home and she would come and pick me up. She was a huge, huge support system for me and she saved me so many times. And I’m blessed to have a mother-in-law like her.”
On what she would like to see changed about adoption:
Tyler and Catelynn have both been outspoken about the fact that they feel adoption needs to be reformed legally. During her Live, Cate stated that she feels anyone considering adoption should get their own legal representation. She also took issue with how much it costs to adopt a baby in America.
“I think it’s crazy that it costs thousands and thousands of dollars for people to adopt children,” she said. “Like, you are literally buying babies, which is crazy to me.”
On why she continued to send texts to Teresa after Teresa said she no longer wanted to communicate:
Cate admitted that she continued to send texts and pictures to Carly (via Teresa’s phone), even after Teresa told Cate that she didn’t want to communicate with her any longer. Back in September—after revealing that Teresa had blocked her phone number— Catelynn posted some of the messages, photos and videos that she had been sending to Carly. While some fans argued that it was wrong for Cate to “blow up Teresa’s phone” after Teresa wanted to stop communicating, Cate gave reasons for continuing to send updates.
“When they said that they weren’t going to talk to us, I felt like it was important for Carly to know that I didn’t stop reaching out,” Catelynn said, adding that she was only sending messages about twice a month at the time. “Because I’ll be able to show her that in the future, that I never stopped reaching out to her.
“Until I know that it’s her [idea to close the adoption] I think it’s important for her to know that I love her and I care about her and that it wasn’t me that quit reaching out,” Catelynn added. “It’s important for her as a birth child and an adoptee that we will never stop fighting for her and we love her.
“It is definitely a traumatic situation, yeah,” she said. “It definitely brought up a lot of PTSD for me and I felt like it swung me into all of those feelings I had when I was holding her in the hospital room [after her birth] and saying goodbye, and that was super-hard to go through, but if it’s what she wants, I’ll go through anything for her. Period. For any of my kids.”
On whether she thinks her and Tyler being on MTV played a part in the adoption closing:
Catelynn said that, in her opinion, her and Tyler being on a reality show had no effect on Carly’s parents closing the adoption.
“Absolutely not, because MTV has been a part of the journey since I was pregnant and has been for the last 15 years of all of our lives. So, no, I do not think so,” she said.
In September, Tyler also addressed this during a Live. He stated that Teresa told him that their being on a TV show has nothing to do with the rules imposed on Cate and Ty.
“I asked them if the rules/access/restrictions would be different if we weren’t who we were and didn’t have a huge following. She said no, and I have to go off what she said. Do I believe that, really? No, not really,” Tyler said. “Because Carly’s brother’s birth mom has all the access that we don’t. So, I think it would have been different if we weren’t who were.”
On whether their adoption counselor Dawn knows why Carly’s parents closed the adoption:
Catelynn stated that she’s unsure if Dawn— the adoption counselor who helped arrange Carly’s adoption— knows the exact reasons Brandon and Teresa cut off contact with them. While Dawn remains in contact with both sides, Catelynn claimed that Dawn has been sworn to secrecy.
“I guess that they’ve told Dawn that she’s forbidden to tell us anything,” Cate said.
During his September Live, Tyler stated that he holds no ill will toward Dawn whatsoever.
Tyler, however, denies that Dawn is to blame for any of the current turmoil happening. In fact, he has defended her over and over again.
“I have seen too much hate for that woman and I have seen too much judgement towards her,” Tyler said at the time. “If it wasn’t for Dawn and her consistent compassionate loving bridge that she continued to try to build between us, we never would have gotten any visits after Year 4 [of Carly’s life]. That’s what I believe.”
“Dawn has been the biggest advocate for us ever,” he continued. “She has been a mediator, when me and Cate didn’t know we needed one…Dawn has been the pillar of support by trying to hold this bridge up and keep this communication alive and going. Dawn has also expressed that she fully understands the importance of having access and communication for Carly’s sake. I really don’t like when I see anything negative about Dawn…if you only knew, guys…how much she has contributed to keeping this going, it’s crazy. Dawn’s amazing. She is an angel, a damn saint. And she has always advocated to keep this communication going.”
On whether she regrets placing Carly for adoption:
“I wouldn’t say that I regret it,’ Catelynn said. “But if I could go back with the wisdom that I have now and do it all over at 16, there’s a lot of things that I would change.”
