Tyler Baltierra is holding nothing back in his quest to let his biological daughter Carly know what he says is the truth about her biological parents, Brandon and Teresa Davis, and the situation surrounding her 2009 adoption.
The Teen Mom star— who, along with his wife Catelynn Lowell— has taken the feud between them and Brandon and Teresa public, with Catelynn blasting the couple on social media, and revealing earlier this week that Carly’s parents recently cut off contact with them completely. On Wednesday, Tyler hopped on Instagram Live with social media creator JordyCray to answer some tough questions about the soured adoption situation, how Tyler and Catelynn’s job with MTV has played a part in the feud, and what he regrets about his decision to place Carly for adoption immediately following her 2009 birth.
Tyler then got on Instagram Live solo, and has been answering questions and making statements on X since then. Since the ‘Teen Mom’ star has been constantly posting statements, messages and videos on multiple social media platforms, it’s been hard to keep up. Here, The Ashley breaks down some of the most-interesting things Tyler has posted over the last few days regarding Brandon and Teresa and the adoption.
On whether or not he thinks that his (and Cate’s) posts will make things worse with Brandon & Teresa:
During his initial Live with JordyCray, Tyler said he’s not concerned that speaking out will worsen the relationship that he and Cate have with Carly’s parents, given that, currently, there is no relationship.
“I don’t think anything worse can happen,” Tyler said.
“I don’t think that there’s not anything else they could possibly do. They’ve already been upset and angry about a lot of things, but I don’t really think that …there’s any further helping I can do since I’m blocked,” he continued. “There’s not really anything I can do that will make this any worse. They’ve already cut off contact, that’s been established. They have no desire to talk about anything even though I’ve tried, and said ‘let’s get together and talk, we can figure this out.’ We’ve had a lot of these situations where we have talked about these things before.”
Later, during his Instagram Live Q&A on Wednesday, Tyler answered a fans’ question asking if he thinks his and Cate’s rants will make things worse for Carly.
“I guess I’m not worried [it will hurt Carly]. I’m not really sure it would hurt her,” he said. “I’m not bashing her parents, I’m not calling them names or saying they’re right or wrong. I’m expressing my perspective form a birth parent perspective. I would hope this wouldn’t hurt her. I would hope this is information she wants and desires…
“I’m not too worried that she’ll be negatively affected by it because the truth it the truth,” he said on Live later. “You can’t get around it. I hope and pray she’s not affected by it. I can’t guarantee that. I wish they would talk to us and say what’ going on!”
On Brandon and Teresa Not Liking Him & Regretting the Adoption:
During his Live, Tyler responded to fans’ theories that Teresa is not fond of him. In fact, he stated that Teresa’s dislike of him has “been confirmed.”
“She thinks I’m abrasive, and she thinks my communication is a little too aaaah. [She was] raised in the South and I was raised in the Midwest…we have oppositional culture differences….and communication styles. You think I’m too loud and abrasive, I think you’re too beat-around-the-bush and inauthentic.”
He went on to say that Teresa just cutting him and Catelynn off with no explanation is ‘childish.’
“…I think Teresa just saying, ‘I don’t want to talk to you anymore’ is childish,” he said later in the Live. “And, yeah, maybe some people may say that it’s childish for us continuing to try. I don’t agree with that…I will always try. I am a father and I will always try. I will keep trying until you say, ‘You’re harming me’ and you explain. That’s where I’m at…what am I supposed to do? Give up and just hope and pray that she comes and finds me one day?”
Days later on X, Tyler also addressed whether he feels Brandon and Teresa regret their decision to agree to have an open adoption with him and Catelynn.
“I think you’re correct that they regret doing an open adoption just as much as we regret not reading the fine print as a child, having proper representation/protection, & doing enough research (which is difficult when you’re a traumatized child in a crisis),” Tyler wrote. “I think it’s safe to say there are regrets on each side.”
On how Brandon & Teresa officially cut off contact:
“They said, ‘We don’t want to talk to you anymore,’ that was the first official thing,” Tyler said on Instagram Live.
“Cate was like, ‘Can we jump on a phone call, what do you mean?’ No response. We were in limbo a little bit…if you’re not going to talk to us, we at least have to try to send these updates to Carly like we’re supposed to, and hope and pray you’re going to show them to her. Once we were sending those updates to Teresa’s phone and it kept saying undelivered, we knew we were blocked. Obviously, we just stopped [sending updates after that]. Once you’re blocked, you’re blocked.”
During his Live, Tyler stated that he and Catelynn desperately want answers from Brandon and Teresa so they know why they cut communication off.
“You don’t owe me anything, however not explaining yourself and your decision kind of creates…it doesn’t really create any closure, and it’s hard to accept things when they don’t explain it to you,” Tyler said. “I don’t think you owe it to me, but I think you should.”
He told JordyCray that Catelynn decided to continue to send Carly updates (via Teresa’s phone) on their family.
“We said, ‘That’s fine if you don’t want to explain it to us.’ Cate even said, ‘That’s fine you don’t have to talk to me anymore, but I still want Carly to have these updates, and I hope and pray you’ll show them to her, because that’s what adoptees need.’
On his regrets about Carly’s adoption:
Tyler has stated numerous times this week that he doesn’t exactly regret placing Carly for adoption in 2009, given the situation he and Catelynn were in at the time. However, he has revealed what he does regret regarding Carly’s adoption.
“I would not have gone through an [adoption] agency and I would have picked different parents,” Tyler said to JordyCray. “That’s just the truth.”
“I would have probably spent more time with the parents that we chose,” Tyler added. “We tried to ask [our adoption counselor] Dawn if we could visit at a park and get to know them…that didn’t happen. But at 16, you just kind of listen to the adults. They’re saying, ‘no, this is how it works…’
“For me, I don’t regret placing her, I still believe it was the right thing,” he said. “Me and Cate were in chaos. I don’t regret it, I just regret how I did it and who I did it with.”
While Tyler regrets placing Carly with Brandon and Teresa, he did acknowledge on X that they have done a good job raising Carly.
“I’m not quite sure what the future holds,” he wrote. “But I don’t ever want her to resent her parents! I firmly believe that they are good parents & I will always be grateful to them for that. I just hope her parents give her the right tools, resources & education that she deserves to know in regards to her own healing process. Adoptees have their own unique journey when it comes to facing the trauma that inevitably comes with that unique experience. All I want is for Carly to know the truth & have all of the facts. She deserves that!”
On whether he holds Dawn, the adoption counselor, responsible for not clarifying the adoption terms:
Tyler has addressed the “Dawn Situation” on multiple platforms recently. As 16 and Pregnant and ‘Teen Mom’ fans will remember, Dawn Baker is the counselor who helped facilitate Carly’s adoption and has remained active in the lives of both couples. Since Cate and Ty recently spoke out against the adoption, many fans have pointed the finger at Dawn for “taking advantage” of Cate and Ty when they were teenagers.
Tyler, however, denies that Dawn is to blame for any of the current turmoil happening. In fact, he has defended her over and over again.
“I have seen too much hate for that woman and I have seen too much judgement towards her,” Tyler said on Live of Dawn. “If it wasn’t for Dawn and her consistent compassionate loving bridge that she continued to try to build between us, we never would have gotten any visits after Year 4 [of Carly’s life]. That’s what I believe.”
“Dawn has been the biggest advocate for us ever,” he continued. “She has been a mediator, when me and Cate didn’t know we needed one…Dawn has been the pillar of support by trying to hold this bridge up and keep this communication alive and going. Dawn has also expressed that she fully understands the importance of having access and communication for Carly’s sake. I really don’t like when I see anything negative about Dawn…if you only knew, guys…how much she has contributed to keeping this going, it’s crazy. Dawn’s amazing. She is an angel, a damn saint. And she has always advocated to keep this communication going.”
In another Instagram Live, he addressed if he feels that Dawn could have done a better job explaining the adoption terms to him and Catelynn.
“I do think Dawn was as transparent as she could be,” he said. “Were we rushed? Yes, at the hospital me and Cate both agree that we were very rushed [to give Carly to Brandon and Teresa.]
He added that he’s not sure if Dawn received a “commission check” for facilitating Carly’s adoption.
Days later on X, Tyler stated that Dawn is still trying to help them mend the relationship with Brandon and Teresa.
“Dawn has been nothing but a blessing!” Ty wrote. “She has actively intervened, mediated, & helped guide this very complex relationship dynamic since the beginning & continues to do so now…We have tried multiple times with our social worker Dawn [to discuss this with them]. They refuse to do any type of mediation or conversation regarding the decision to cut us off (which is their right to do so of course).”
On if their MTV stardom has played a part in Brandon & Teresa being restrictive with them:
Tyler claims that Teresa has told him that their being on a TV show has nothing to do with their rules, but Tyler doesn’t believe them.
“I asked them if the rules/access/restrictions would be different if we weren’t who we were and didn’t have a huge following. She said no, and I have to go off what she said. Do I believe that, really? No, not really,” Tyler said. “Because Carly’s brother’s birth mom has all the access that we don’t. So, I think it would have been different if we weren’t who were.”
On whether or not Carly watches ‘Teen Mom’:
Tyler stated that Brandon and Teresa are very conservative and don’t let Carly have exposure to a lot of things, including the Internet. (He said that Carly doesn’t have social media or Internet on her cellphone.) She is also not allowed to watch ‘Teen Mom.’
“She has not watched the show. She is very sheltered,” Tyler said. “Her phone …is not a normal touchscreen Internet access phone….it’s not a normal phone. She has not watched the show. We’ve asked multiple years, so we know what to say or not to say when we’re visiting. No, she has not watched the show. She saw a clip one time of a visit we had and I was crying and she asked about it and I think that freaked them out.”
“I think she knows that her birth was on one episode, but I don’t think she knows the whole grand scale of the whole TV show,” he said during the other Live.
“They live very conservative lives. It’s not a public school, she has an old flip phone, so it’s restricted, it’s very limited,” Tyler added.
Tyler said that he believes Carly will see the show once she has more “freedom” at 18.
“There will be a lot of things we’ll have to answer for. I’m not afraid to answer those questions…I’m ready for it,” Tyler said. “Let’s lay it out on the table. But unfortunately, until then, I have to wait…however, I feel like I need to get this info out just in case…she wants contact and they’re telling their version of the story.”
On whether he thinks Carly will want more contact with him and Cate when she turns 18:
“That would be up to how she is raised from here on out,” Tyler said on Live. “That is up to Brandon and Teresa and how they are raising her, and how they are instilling her confidence and her natural desire and curiosity. At 18, you’re graduated high school, most kids aren’t moved out by then…adoptees have this thing where they feel guilt for desiring a connection to their bio family. They feel shameful for not being grateful enough for the family they have, to seek out their bio family.
“Unfortunately, a lot of adoptees walk on eggshells and not express their desires. They know…to not ask questions and to be grateful they’re in the position they’re in.”
Still, Tyler feels that Carly will come to them at 18 and want to talk.
“I have a lot of faith that Carly has enough tenacity and curiosity and enough vigor to break through those limitations if there are any,” he said. “I have faith when she is 18 that she’ll want more access with us. However, I don’t expect and I don’t think we’re owed it. ..whatever her decision is I will respect it. Period.”
On why he believes Brandon & Teresa cut them off:
On Live, Tyler said that he thinks Carly’s parents were getting nervous as she became older and asked more questions about her adoption.
“My personal opinion on the reason why they finally blocked us is, I think this has been inevitable and coming for years, based off the experience we’ve had for 15 years,” he said. “…I think the reason for us being blocked, my personal opinion is that Carly was getting older and asking more questions.”
Tyler pointed to a few instances where Brandon and Teresa may have gotten freaked out about him and Cate getting too close to Carly.
During the last visit them had with Carly, Tyler said that a few things they said may have been taken the wrong way by Brandon and Teresa.
“Me and Cate specifically stated— and we didn’t do this with any ill intentions— we said, ‘Next time you don’t have to fly to Michigan, we’ll come to you next visits.’ Carly was like, ‘That would be awesome.’ That was what happened.
“My personal opinion is that I believe Carly was asking questions and I think Teresa, living the life that she lives, had a hard time answering those questions. That’s the difference between the way me and Cate live our lives and parent our children, versus them. I have nothing to explain I have nothing to hide, nothing to justify, because I’m open and honest about everything with my children…”
On why calling their kids Carly’s sisters caused problems:
Tyler stated that another incident caused some turmoil with Brandon and Teresa. When Catelynn sent Carly a custom blanket with photos of her with their other daughters, along with the words “Sisters Forever” on it, Brandon and Teresa were not happy.
“Carly is the one that said that word [about our kids being her sisters],” Tyler said. “Brandon and Teresa didn’t correct, nothing happened, it was very fluid. It was OK to say that they’re sisters…but then after the visit, we got in trouble for saying ‘sisters’ over and over again. I guess we said it too much for their liking.
“We got in trouble because we didn’t know that was an issue,” Tyler continued. “Cate got this blanket made where she…got pictures of all the girls and it said ‘Sisters Forever’ on the blanket and they were like ‘ohhh.”
On whether or not he blames MTV for taking advantage of the situation:
Tyler said that, despite MTV filming them as teens, he does not believe they took advantage of the situation for ratings.
“No. I don’t blame MTV at all,” he said on Live. “They were literally a documentary film crew to show this is what adoption looks like in America. I’m very thankful for MTV. They changed my life completely, they changed my children’ lives. They’re set for life…I don’t cast blame on anybody, I just wish more people would take accountability for what they’ve done and be more transparent.”
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