In one of the most gut-wrenching confessions to come out of Love Is Blind, Johnny McIntyre is pulling back the curtain on the silent, daily devastation that he and wife Amy Cortes have been facing behind closed doors. Their dream of starting a family — once so full of joy and hope — has turned into a heartbreaking emotional marathon. And now, Johnny is admitting what he’s feared for months:
“I see her break a little more every day. And I don’t know how to stop it.”
“She Smiles for Everyone Else, But I See the Cracks”
According to Johnny, Amy has mastered the art of putting on a brave face — for their families, their friends, even for the fans still rooting for their love story. But at home, behind the walls of their bedroom, she’s unraveling.
“She still posts, still says she’s okay. But when we’re alone, she goes quiet. She stares off like she’s somewhere else. And when I try to reach her… sometimes I just can’t.”
Johnny says the emotional toll of their IVF journey has slowly chipped away at the vibrant, joyful woman he married — and he’s terrified of what’s left if they keep going like this.
“Amy used to be the light in every room. Now, some mornings she can’t even get out of bed.”
The Guilt of Watching Her Suffer
What makes it worse for Johnny is the profound helplessness he feels — being unable to take on any of her pain, physically or emotionally.
“She’s the one going through the injections, the mood swings, the hormones, the bruises. And I just sit there — watch, support, offer water. It doesn’t feel like enough.”
He says there are days he wishes he could be the one carrying the weight.
“If I could switch places with her — even for one day — I would. I’d take the pain. The fear. The disappointment. Anything to give her a break.”
But the worst moments are the ones he can’t fix — the silent tears. The failed rounds. The moments where she looks at him and he knows she’s blaming herself, even though she shouldn’t.
“I’m Scared I’m Losing Her Bit by Bit”
While Johnny says their love is still strong, the cracks are starting to show. He fears not just losing the dream of a baby — but losing Amy to the grief of it all.
“There’s a distance between us now. Not on purpose, but it’s there. We sleep in the same bed, but sometimes I feel miles away from her.”
He says every time he sees another negative test, he braces for the breakdown that follows.
“It’s like watching someone drown and only being allowed to whisper encouragement from the shore.”
“I Don’t Know What Else to Do… But I’m Not Leaving”
Through it all, Johnny remains steadfast — even if broken.
“I can’t give up on this. Not on her. Not on us,” he said, voice trembling. “But I need her to know she’s not broken. She’s not failing. She’s the strongest person I know.”
Still, he admits:
“I’m scared. Scared that one day she won’t have the energy to keep fighting. And I don’t know what happens if we reach that day.”
One thing is certain: Johnny’s love for Amy hasn’t faded — it’s deepened, even in darkness. But as their IVF journey drags on, the question hangs in the air:
How long can two people survive in a storm with no end in sight?
