Kristin Cavallari Found It ‘Really Difficult’ to Have Ex Johnny ‘Diminish’ Their Romance to Just Sex

Kristin Cavallari had some choice words for her first boyfriend, Johnny, after he publicly mocked their relationship.

During an exclusive interview with Us Weekly, Cavallari, 38, reacted to the third episode of Honestly Cavallari: The Headline Tour, which featured an awkward reunion between her and Johnny on her "Let's Be Honest" live podcast tour.

"I thought it was going to go very differently than it did," Cavallari admitted ahead of the Wednesday, June 11, episode. "That was really difficult for me. The tour ended up being way more personal than I had anticipated. Way more from my past came up and it was a great opportunity for me to realize how far I've come so I'm thankful for it."

Cavallari specifically called out Johnny and Laguna Beach alum Talan Torriero for their behavior in front of the crowd.

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"I talked to [Talan] after. But I think when someone tries to apologize and has a million excuses about why they have s***** behavior, I'm just not in a place in my life where I need to be gaslit," she noted. "I just don't care anymore. I'm good. I don't need people in my life who can't take any accountability."

After watching the moments back, Cavallari realized she needed to be more "careful" moving forward, adding, "I don't think trust is given. I've always been like that. Being on TV, obviously, enhances that. I think the hard part for me was I had held Johnny in this high regard for so many years. To have Talon and Johnny back-to-back diminish what we had and almost make it just purely about sex was really difficult for me."

Cavallari revealed she was more surprised by what Johnny said about their past romance.

"Particularly because Johnny was my first love. We actually — for being 14 — had a really amazing relationship," she explained. "I literally used to wake up and I had poems on my window and it was so incredibly sweet. I was trying to give him that opportunity and he just kept tearing it down and I was just like, 'What is going on?' I didn't understand that."

For those who didn't see the truly cringe-worthy interactions between Cavallari and Johnny — allow Us to catch you up. The stop in Chicago started out strong with Cavallari excited to see a blast from her past again, but he quickly started to take digs at Cavallari as they discussed their past.

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"For as love as you can be in eighth grade, I would say yes," Cavallari said about their connection in junior high. "I would wake up in the morning and I would have poems on my window."

Johnny, however, was primarily focused on the sexual aspect of their relationship, saying, "To be clear, you would actually greet me in outfits just like this one. I saw you come out in this and it's hard. It's really hard."

Elsewhere in the episode, Johnny accused Cavallari of "sampling Barrington" — including his best friend Tommy.

"Johnny is a massive letdown. It honestly breaks my heart because for all of these years, I have held my relationship with Johnny in this high regard," she said in a confessional. "Then he got up on stage and he was a completely different person."

Cavallari continued: "He was the only person that I gave the questions to beforehand because obviously he doesn't do this stuff. He knew exactly what I was going to say. So to me, it just feels premeditated. Like he wanted to come out there and tear me down. These memories that I've had of Johnny — all of these years now — he just completely ruined."

Cavallari got a message from Johnny the next morning, which read, "'You were amazing last night. Thanks for such a fun escape from reality. Definitely needed that. You're gonna absolutely crush the rest of the tour. No doubt about it."

Honestly Cavallari: The Headline Tour airs on E! Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET.