Our All-Bravo Traitors Dream Cast: Real Housewives, Below Deck Yachties and More

The Traitors Season 3 is a fun watch, but it isn’t delivering the excitement like it should be. Thanks to the murders of Dorinda Medley and Chanel Ayan early on in the game, the Bravo team’s numbers are widdling down. But I am a glass-half-full kind of writer, and I can’t help but think of what my dream all-Bravo cast might look like. With a mix of the right Real Housewives and a few heavy hitters from some other popular shows, there could be a perfect team out there.  

The Entire RHOSLC Season 5 Cast

Picture it: Lisa Barlow, Mary Cosby, Heather Gay, Meredith Marks, Whitney Rose, Angie Katsanevas, and Bronwyn Newport are all on the next season of The Traitors. I can hear Mary’s voice now echoing throughout the Scottish castle, yelling, “You bobblehead!” She’s probably gotten into an altercation about her kilt pattern. Heather would be a perfect Faithful as she gathers up the “receipts, proof, and timeline” to out a traitor during a round table.

 I’d love to see Lisa on the Peacock series sooner rather than later. She’d be a hell of a Traitor since she has an innate ability to control the narrative. She could also put her social skills to the test as she is never afraid to speak her mind. Not to mention I wouldn’t mind watching Alan Cumming try to put together a “seven Lisa’s lunch” competition.  

The OG Cast of Vanderpump Rules

I’d raise my glass high to this cast lineup. Imagine seeing all seven original cast members of Vanderpump Rules walking through the castle doors. I wouldn’t know where to look between Katie Maloney, Stassi Schroeder, Scheana Shay, Jax Taylor, Kristen Doute, Tom Sandoval, and Tom Schwartz. Jax would have to be a Faithful because he is such an obvious Traitor. He’d do terribly and inevitably piss off the rest of the faithfuls with his egocentric sentiments. I could also see the bartender freaking out because he wasn’t made a Traitor. That would make for one exciting episode.

Stassi would be the perfect Traitor, thanks to her cunning personality. She also loves Halloween, so I imagine murdering would be extra theatrical for her. The mother of two is sly and knows how to play people off one another. I also think the ruse of the Witches of WeHo would be a good cover story for her, as the three former besties would probably reunite and band together. 

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 3 Cast

I still love the Real Housewives of Atlanta. The women have always been extremely real and shared their own hot takes. But the Season 3 cast did a number on fans when it came to the drama. Between NeNe Leakes, Shereé Whitfield, Kim Zolciak, Kandi Burruss, Cynthia Bailey, and Phaedra Parks loved to spill the tea and pull one another’s wigs. I know we have had Phaedra on Season 2, but they brought Kate Chastain back twice so they can do the same for the lawyer. Except this time, make her a Faithful.

And Iamgine Kim with her red solo cup filled with wine, trying to get through a physical challenge. She would complain consistently and probably make herself the perfect person the Traitors would use as a decoy. She would think she was playing the game swimmingly when in reality, she would just be a pawn for the Traitors. Not to mention, everyone keeps confusing Carolyn Wiger with Kim, so we might as well bring her in. 

Bring In the Southern Charm Heavy Hitters

There was something I always loved about Camera Eubanks. Perhaps it was her ability to keep the men with Peter Pan syndrome in line, but she always spoke sense. She was the calmest of the bunch. And I can see that personality trait being extremely helpful as she tried to deduce who the Traitors were. Now add a sprinkle of Shep Rose, and we have the perfect combination. Shep, for all his bad traits, is super intelligent. He could rub elbows with the reality stars and whichever royal Peacock decided to throw in the mix. Together, Cameran and Shep were very close friends, and I’d like to see their alliance play out on the small screen once more.  

The Traitors is available to stream on Peacock.