"The dark times were so dark, and it felt like there wasn't a way out for the longest time," said the 'Vanderpump Rules' alum, who also shared what it would take for her to consider returning to the show.
It was back in March 2023 when Scandoval -- Rachel Leviss and Tom Sandoval's secret affair -- took over the world, and now Leviss is opening up about how she's changed since the Vanderpump Rules scandal shook up her life over a year ago.
In an interview with Us Weekly, which marks her first interview in a year, the former reality star detailed her mental health journey, reflected on her personal transformation, and revealed what it would take for her to return to Vanderpump Rules.
"The dark times were so dark, and it felt like there wasn't a way out for the longest time. I [decided] I need[ed] to start making better decisions," Leviss, 29, said. "It took time to integrate everything that I learned into my real life, but I feel like I’m finally now able to start living for me."
"Although I'm still in therapy and make it a point to continue to work on myself. There's a newfound level of freedom -- it's an era of healing," she continued, adding that her new era is also "the era of freedom."
Leviss and Sandoval, of course, were involved in a cheating scandal after the two had a months-long secret affair when the latter was still in a relationship with Ariana Madix. Leviss and Sandoval's affair came to light in March 2023. Viewers watched as it was exposed on the Season 10 finale of Vanderpump Rules, and blew up on the three-part reunion. Leviss entered a mental health facility following the reunion, and she and Sandoval reportedly split in May 2023.
Leviss now lives in Arizona, and called her move one of the "biggest" changes in her life in the past year.
"I think the biggest is not living in L.A. anymore [and] not drinking anymore," she explained of her lifestyle changes. "That's more of a promise to myself. I committed to a year of not drinking alcohol and I accomplished that and I'm just continuing going this route because I realized that I don't need alcohol. Also surrounding myself with positive people. Those are the real life-changing lifestyle choices that I've made."
She also said a "huge" lifestyle change has been her daily activities, including yoga and walking.
Opening up more about her decision to move to Arizona, Leviss said, "It was almost like I had to reach this unhealthy level of toxicity in order to make a change in my life. I'm grateful that I’ve been able to step out of that. I don't think L.A. is all bad, but being in certain environments could bring out the worst in a person. So now when I go visit Santa Monica, I have new friends and there's a common theme [such as] spirituality and not drinking. It's a much healthier social circle that I'm in in L.A."
The Bravo alum also reflected on her three-month stay at a mental health facility, sharing how she took what she learned into her life now.
"A huge reason why I started my podcast is because I did learn so much. I wanted to share that knowledge with other people," said Leviss, who launched her podcast, Rachel Goes Rogue, in January 2024. Because being in toxic relationships is such a relatable thing. I think we've all had some sort of situation where there’s power imbalances and you could lose yourself. So figuring out what it was for me -- and sharing that with other people -- is a huge part of my life's mission now. I've been able to do that with my podcast."
She added that she has a "tendency to put my significant other on a pedestal" and would have "rose-colored glasses on." Now, she said she's "prioritizing" her female friendships, which is something she discussed throughout the interview.
Leviss said her friendships are now "healthy," unlike the group of former friends and costars she had in Los Angeles during her time starring on Vanderpump Rules.
"It shouldn't really be people tearing each other down in order to get power over one another. I feel like I was in that dynamic and that dysfunctional friend group for so long that that did feel normal to me," she explained. "Now I have these new friends that have been friends for years and they have such a close connection. I'm like, 'Dang, did I miss out on that type of friendship where it really does improve your quality of life?' But I decided to join the show and I decided to put myself in that environment and I’m grateful for the lessons that I've learned along the way. Now I’m able to make friendships that can last a lifetime."
While she admitted that she does "miss" her old friendships, she said she felt "betrayed" by them in the wake of Scandoval.
"I haven't heard from anyone. I think the most heartbreaking part of all of it was feeling betrayed by my friends," Leviss said. "I know how that sounds because I was somebody who betrayed a friend. But in my darkest times, I just thought that these were my true friends and they would love me no matter what and would want to hear me out. That just wasn't the case."
"It was heartbreaking realizing that the people I was surrounding myself with — a lot of them were quick to turn on me. I had to learn the hard way to completely cut off all communication to all of my friends," she added, saying it was a "really difficult time."
When she asked if she'd ever reconnect with Madix, Leviss said, "I think we’re both moving on in our lives and I wish her continued success."
Meanwhile, despite Leviss' decision not to return for Season 11 of Vanderpump Rules following the scandal, she was a frequent topic of discussion so far on the season as the cast dealt with the fallout of Scandoval.
When it comes to possibly returning to reality TV one day, Leviss told Us Weekly that she would be interested in starring in a competition series, but "that's the extent of it" ... at least for now.
For Vanderpump Rules, specifically, Leviss said it would take a lot for her to return to the Bravos series.
"It would take all-expenses paid therapy. I would need a therapist on call and therapy sessions after every single filming session!" she said. "I just don't know if I see a path forward because it's not a healthy dynamic. I'm trying to protect my mental health and I’m trying to live an authentic life."
She also admitted that it was "hard" to see her former castmates talk about her on Season 11.
"I was not there to defend myself and that was hard. That is another reason why I started the podcast so that I could have a voice," said Leviss, who shared her thoughts on her podcast throughout the season. "I'm able to impact people in a positive way through my podcast. So, in a way, I actually don't need the show and I’m healthier without it. There's other ways that I can pursue my soul’s purpose in life without the show. That was like a full circle chapter and it’s complete. I don't see myself returning because there wouldn’t be anything positive coming from that."
