Amber Portwood is sharing her truth.
After the Teen Mom star's then-fiancé Gary Wayt was reported missing in June and was located less than a week later, she revealed the emotional toll the incident and conspiracies surrounding it had on her mental health.
"That day, that man left for no reason," Portwood sobbed in the parking lot of her psychiatrist's office on the season finale of Teen Mom: The Next Chapter Sept. 12. "Why am I getting persecuted? 'We know Amber killed him.' I had to deal with that. Do you know how that feels? When people are calling you a murderer about your f--king fiancé?"
"He doesn't know what he did," she continued. "They were calling me a murderer, and they said I f--king killed him."
The 34-year-old—who shares daughter Leah, 15, with ex Gary Shirley, as well as son James, 5, with ex Andrew Glennon—noted all of the compounding emotions she's been experiencing.
"I've had to deal with thinking my fiancé was dead for three to four days," she continued. "I had to deal with literally grieving and trying to make sense of why the f--k would somebody do this to me. I am going through something right now."
Portwood, who has been navigating her bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder diagnosis for over 15 years, added, "I'm in such a weird space that I've never been in. This rambling is so backward for me."
"This man broke me," she said. "I was stable. Right now, this is the first time in years in my life I am not f--king right because a man put a ring on my finger."
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During her session with her psychiatrist, the 16 and Pregnant alum reflected on the betrayal she felt by Wayt.
"If you want to show what heartbreak is, this is it," she shared. "It's not just about a man. He looked at my family, my daughter and just asked to be a big, happy family."
As for what she believes led to Wayt leaving the North Carolina hotel where they were staying? Her past legal troubles, including abuse allegations and time in prison.
"I guess his dad read my Wikipedia page," she said during the episode. "I think he was holding in the fact that maybe he heard from his family or something and not telling me. I was just saying, 'I can't do this.'"
"How can we get married then if your family can't accept me?" she emphasized. "Maybe he took that as me breaking up with him. It seemed like to me he was upset and maybe hopeless."
