“An Unselfish Standpoint”: The Golden Bachelorette’s Chock Chapple Just Hinted at Letting Someone Go for Their Happiness — and It Sounds a Lot Like Joan Vassos

In a recent interview, The Golden Bachelorette winner, Chock Chapple, gave an unsettling relationship update that is making me wonder if he was sending Joan Vassos a message. Chock, 61, is from Wichita, Kansas, and came onto The Golden Bachelorette season 1 as a divorcee and a semi-widow (his fiancée passed away in 2022.) He sparked the ultimate interest from lead, Joan, 62, from Maryland, and she gave him her final rose during the season finale. The pair left Tahiti engaged, but they have yet to get married as they've been figuring out a bevy of distressing relationship logistics.

The Golden Bachelorette season 1 was filmed in July 2024, and it ran from mid-September 2024 to mid-November 2024. Joan and Chock were only able to step out as an engaged couple after the outcome of the season was revealed. Since then, I've noticed the pair have hit the ground running in terms of capitalizing on their spotlight by launching influencer careers. However, I've seen them struggle to navigate their long-distance relationship, blend their families, and focus on what's important, which leads me to believe that Chock was sending Joan a direct hint in his recent interview.

Chock Did An Interview Discussing His Views On Relationships

"An Unselfish Standpoint"

Chock did a video interview with Relationship and Marriage Coaches, @thebulitts, and Joan was also on the call. The topics covered included the pair's engagement updates, family blending, and long-distance relationship navigation. But the topic that stood out to me was Chock's take on relationships, which I found to be poignant in terms of how it relates to Chock and Joan and their current relationship status and struggles.

To begin on his thoughts about working out with Joan, Chock remarked, "I'm made a little bit different."

He expanded, "I need the person to want to be with me, and if they don't want to be with me, then I'm okay with it."

He went on to relay, "Because I don't want them to be miserable, unhappy, and I don't want the same thing for myself. But I look at it is from an unselfish standpoint is I want that person to be happy."

While I believe Chock is in love with Joan, I think his remark was targeted towards Joan, who sat stone-faced as Chock was sharing his feelings. What I took from Chock's sentiments was that he does want Joan to be with him, but that means that she has to fit into his life. To me, this plays into the larger dynamics at hand between Joan and Chock that raise concern, as Joan has been making the most sacrifices to be with Chock.

Joan & Chock Have Been Struggling Being Long-Distance

Their Relationship Is Seeming Unrealistic

Joan has been putting forth a lot of energy and time away from her family to make her connection with Chock work. Initially, Joan envisioned her and Chock spending equal time with each other in their respective states, with a shared home base in New York City. However, the NYC plans have seemingly come to a halt, and I see that Joan has been spending more time in Kansas and on vacation with Chock than she has with her family. Joan is stretched thin, and I don't think Chock is in the same boat.

With regard to Chock's comments about needing Joan to want to be with him, I think he was sending a gaslighting message that he would be fine without her and that she needed to continue showing up for him in order for him not to want to walk away.

I may be reading into it too much, but based on their current issue and logistically chaotic romance, I don't believe my notion is far off.

It's clear that the pair are in love, but I see it coming with conditions for Chock. I was unsettled by his interview remarks, as I now think it's clear that Joan needs to continue fitting better into Chock's life than he has been with hers. Joan originally said on The Golden Bachelorette that she wanted a man to fit into her lifestyle and family, and that she wouldn't waver on that, but she has done a 180 and is the one doing the most conceding in the relationship.

Joan & Chock Are Masking Their Other Issues

They Are Painting A Pretty Picture

Joan and Chock have a tendency I've noticed that is concerning. They love to paint a rosy picture on social media, and go out of their way to showcase the positive aspects of their union, but I don't think it comes across as believable. Given the mounting core issues plaguing the couple's viability, I can't believe that everything is all good between them, and the interview between Chock, Joan, and the relationship experts was a discernible crack to me. I think Joan and Chock are masking their relationship problems, and putting in every effort to showcase a positive front.

Was Chock Sending A Message To Joan?

Or Was He Speaking In Hypotheticals?

I realize that Chock has sincere adoration for Joan, but his comments about not wanting to be with someone who doesn't want to be with him, I take literally.

Then the part of being "unselfishly" okay after that, I find to be a dig or message for Joan to prompt her into action.

Chock could have been talking in hypotheticals with regard to him and Joan's potential for not working out on the show, but I translate it to their current state of affairs. It's clear that The Golden Bachelorette couple, Joan and Chock, want to make their relationship work, but I see it noticeably coming at a cost of chaos, uncertainty, and now warnings. I want Joan and Chock to be happy, but I see that they are overwhelmed.