“It’s Not About Love Anymore, It’s About Control”: Amber Pike Says Matt’s ‘Perfectionist Parenting’ Is Creating Distance in Their Marriage

The pod-born romance that once captivated Love Is Blind fans with its raw intensity and deep emotional connection is now facing a new test — and this time, it’s not about falling in love, but staying together under the weight of parenting pressure.

In a painfully vulnerable confession, Amber Pike is opening up about how husband Matt Barnett’s obsession with being the “perfect dad” is slowly unraveling the bond they worked so hard to build.

“It’s not about love anymore,” Amber said. “It’s about control. It’s about getting everything right — even if it means losing me in the process.”

“He Tracks Every Bottle. Every Nap. Every Ounce of Formula.”

Amber admits that at first, she admired Matt’s dedication to their child. But over time, what felt like support turned into surveillance.

“He’s got spreadsheets. Timers. He knows when she pooped last and how many minutes she napped — and if I don’t match that energy, I feel like I’ve failed,” she shared. “It’s like there’s no room for mistakes, no room to just… be human.”

 

She says the pressure isn’t just exhausting — it’s suffocating.

“Sometimes I want to scream, ‘She’s not a science project, she’s our daughter!’”

“I Miss Being His Partner. Now I Feel Like His Assistant.”

Amber says the emotional fallout of Matt’s perfectionism is creating a chasm in their marriage — one that love alone can’t seem to bridge.

“We used to laugh. We used to check in with each other. Now everything’s about schedules and milestones,” she said. “I can’t remember the last time he asked how I was doing. I feel like I’m fading into the background.”

She admitted to snapping more than she’d like, then retreating into guilt and silence.

“It’s not who I want to be. But it’s hard to stay soft when you feel like you’re constantly being evaluated — like nothing you do is enough.”

“We’re Not on the Same Team Anymore”

Amber confessed that the hardest part isn’t the arguments — it’s the disconnection.

“We’re not fighting over diapers or bedtime. We’re fighting over respect. Over trust. Over whether I’m allowed to do things my way without being told I’m doing it wrong.”

She says she longs for grace — the kind of grace that love is supposed to offer in hard seasons.

“I don’t want perfection. I want partnership. I want to make mistakes and still feel like we’re in this together.”

A Call for Change — Before It’s Too Late

Amber made it clear she’s not giving up on her marriage — but she is drawing a line.

“I need him to stop trying to fix everything and just sit with me in the mess,” she said. “Our baby doesn’t need perfect parents. She needs present ones. Connected ones. Loving ones.”

She’s asking Matt to shift his focus — from doing everything “right” to remembering what truly matters.

“At the end of the day, I’d rather be a little messy and still in love… than perfectly disconnected.”