Rachel Lindsay found a confidant in Tia Mowry after announcing her split from Bryan Abasolo in January.
“She said, ‘Don’t look at the past, it will hold you back. Don’t look at the future, it’ll give you anxiety,’” Lindsay, 39, told E! News on Tuesday, June 18, of Mowry’s advice while navigating her divorce.
Mowry also advised Lindsay, “‘Every day, stay in the present because every day you make it through and you get stronger,’” which the former Bachelorette revealed she says to herself “every single morning.”
“In the moment she was speaking to me, I was having so much anxiety of trying to control the future,” Lindsay explained. “I am a Taurus, I am an enneagram eight, and my biggest fear is loss of control and that’s the space that I’m in now. And so when she said that to me, it was like a burden had lifted off. It was very freeing.”
The former reality star shared that she no longer worries about the “things I can’t control.” Lindsay is now focused on her mental health and moving forward.
“I kind of like the serenity prayer, and I just stay in the present. And every day, ‘Well, I survived that day, and I’m stronger for it,’” she said.
Us Weekly previously confirmed that Abasolo, 44, filed for divorce from Lindsay on January 2, listing their date of separation as December 31, 2023. The pair got engaged during season 13 of The Bachelorette in 2017 and tied the knot in August 2019.
Shortly after news broke of their split, Abasolo took to Instagram to share a statement on the matter. “If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I don’t like to put my personal affairs on social media and like to keep a safe space for our family,” he wrote. “Many of you know me as a chiropractor, and also a husband, my proudest role so far. After more than 4 years of marriage, Rachel and I have made the difficult decision to part ways and start anew.”
Abasolo noted that his parents “have been married forever” and he is a “family man,” so the separation was not an easy decision.
“Sometimes loving yourself and your partner means you must let go,” he continued. “I wanted you to hear it from the source before the blogs start making up their own reality.”
Abasolo concluded by asking for privacy as he and his family “figure out” what is next.
Days later, Lindsay broke her silence on the split. “I didn’t think I would get emotional. … First off I just want to say thank you for people who reached out. I’m still trying to reply to people. You just never know how great your circle is until you see all the people that reach out and love you,” she said during the January 5 episode of her “Higher Learning” podcast. “Obviously it’s a difficult time, if you’ve read the headlines, and you’re probably wondering why I would even work. But to be honest with you I need to distract myself from myself and the best way to do that is to do something that I love and I love ‘Higher Learning.’”
Lindsay promised at the time that she would go into more detail once she processed the breakup. “I will eventually, but now is not the time, [I’m] trying to take it day by day,” she added.
Weeks before the separation, Lindsay hinted at trouble while explaining why she and Abasolo kept their relationship private. “I just [was like], ‘I want to keep this for ourselves’ and, you know, marriage has ups and downs, but you never know when we’re good or when we’re not because we never put it out there,” she said on “The Viall Files” podcast in December 2023. “I kind of want to keep it that way, so when I want to share something, I do.”
Lindsay noted that because of her and Abasolo’s work schedules, they were leading “totally different lives” from one another.
“Bryan is a sole practitioner [and] he leaves the house at 8. He comes home at 9 o’clock, 9:30 [at night] sometimes. It’s just him by himself,” she shared. “Me, especially now that I’m not doing Extra, I have a lot more free time … and then I’m back in hustle mode trying to get a second job, so I go to events. So, we’re just in two totally different places.”
Despite her confessions regarding their issues, Lindsay revealed that the duo were trying to start their family. “We’re working on having a kid,” she claimed at the time, adding that she had “huge” baby fever. “Sometimes that’s not as easy as you think. You think, ‘OK, when I’m ready, it’ll happen,’ and then it doesn’t. So, that’s been a little bit of a struggle too.”
As of last month, the estranged spouses were living under the same roof as they continue to hash out their divorce.
“Rachel has expressed her desire to resolve this matter quietly, without court intervention, by way of a global settlement, which is forthcoming,” Lindsay’s legal team stated in May court documents obtained by Us. “In the meantime, Bryan continues to reside in Rachel’s home, for which Rachel pays 90 percent of all expenses.”
As Lindsay awaits the pair’s July 10 court hearing, she is practicing self-care. “I really want to do the work from within,” she told E! News. “So I’m doing things that can heal me from within, and then I’ll be better on the outside.”
The Bachelor Nation star pointed at meditation, prayer and exercise as parts of her wellness plan. “That’s stepping outside and just being one with nature, that’s spending more time with family and friends,” Lindsay continued, teasing, “As I’m stepping into the summer, maybe we’re dabbling in a little bit of hot girl summer, maybe not. I step my toe in. We’ll see what happens.”
