Rachel Lindsay Opens Up About Feeling ‘Shame’ Amid Bryan Abasolo Divorce

Former Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay is getting candid about the aftermath of her divorce from Bryan Abasolo.

“I met my ex on The Bachelor. We’re currently going through a divorce right now, and it’s really interesting. So we met. We dated for two and a half years. We got married. We were looked at as one of the more successful relationships that came from the show,” Lindsay, 39, said during a Tuesday, December 3, episode of The View. “Anywhere I went, people would ask me about my relationship and how you’re doing. And, ‘When are you having kids?’ All the things that were wrapped up in that.”

“You feel the public pressure to always let people know that everything’s great even though behind closed doors that might not be the case,” she continued. “Or that you’re working on it or that you’re having a bad day or whatever it may be. And a lot of it is wrapped up in shame. You don’t want to say that it failed. You’re scared for people to see you in a different way.”

When asked to point to a moment when she felt like her marriage was going downhill, Lindsay said she “saw signs” before the pair got married in 2019. “As women, we’re fixers. We think we can figure it out. They’re a challenge to us,” she said. “But eventually I saw it more. I would say, within two years.”

“Your identity becomes wrapped up in the relationship. And you’re afraid that’s the only way people see you. But I’m here to tell you, it’s not,” she added. “Like, you can take your power back. You can find your power within. No one has to dim your light.”

When guest cohost Abby Huntsman pointed out that you can’t control what your partner is doing on social media, Lindsay replied, “Well, that’s been true.”

Lindsay and Abasolo, 44, were married for four years after meeting on season 13 of The Bachelorette. Us Weekly confirmed in January that Abasolo filed for divorce from Lindsay, revealing their date of separation as December 31, 2023. The pair have since been in a messy battle primarily over spousal support.

In September, Lindsay exclusively told Us that she’s not looking to get back out there just yet. “Honestly, it’s not a focus right now,” Lindsay said about dating. “I’m just trying to get through it. Then, get at me.”

Lindsay gushed that her friends and family have kept her “empowered.” She added, “I saw this quote the other day about romanticizing life and it was just learning about loving the simple things, whether it’s going on a walk, whether it’s just being thankful for the air that we breathe [or] whether it’s just like laughing with a friend. I’m really holding onto those moments, because they give me life.”